Bad Poems

[BANDWITH]

In specific, SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY POEMS. Think back to your kindergarten dyas when you were tortured by writing miserable cheesy poems with nasty heart lozenges attached to them. Wonderful times. Well. Today we will make MORE poems designed for the specific purpose of making people want to die because the poems are so bad. SO bad in fact that you would feel like Saint Valentine during his last days being tortured.

Spoiler

ouch

Here is an example of one:

This dog is red
That dog is blue
Why are they colored
What did you do?

​

Ears bleeding yet? Good. Go make your own. Put it in a spoiler if it is especially bad.

 

[Gecko Gekkota]

kindergarten

I didn't go to kindergarten, or the equivalent when i came over of 'nursery'

 

[InSight]

In specific, SAINT VALENTINE'S DAY POEMS. Think back to your kindergarten dyas when you were tortured by writing miserable cheesy poems with nasty heart lozenges attached to them. Wonderful times. Well. Today we will make MORE poems designed for the specific purpose of making people want to die because the poems are so bad. SO bad in fact that you would feel like Saint Valentine during his last days being tortured.

Spoiler

ouch

Here is an example of one:

This dog is red
That dog is blue
Why are they colored
What did you do?

​

Ears bleeding yet? Good. Go make your own. Put it in a spoiler if it is especially bad.

A+
Passed with flying colors

 

[InSight]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
In soviet russia
the poem writes you

 

[Lt. Snakestrike]

Spoiler: Haiku

I can't count
I never could read anything well.
Letters or Numbers
Seven

Edit: Okay, I admit, I can do better than that... But it's almost midnight and my brain died two days ago.

 

[InSight]

roses are red
violets are blue
I suck at poetry
go away why the hell are you still here?

 

[TtTOtW]

In a valley between mountains
Ran some water - it was a stream
The mountains were brown and the plants were green

So somebody was walking
Using both his feet
He said "I'm feeling hungry,
I think I'd like some meat"

His stomach started growling
Because the shop was far
And all that he could think of
Was a sweet chocolate bar.

He looked for something brown
To resemble it closely
And then he saw the mountains
And the bark of a tree

He stopped and took a bite
It didn't taste so good
A great surprise indeed,
Since it appeared just like food

So then he had a thought
"What if not all food is brown?"
"This could get complicated",
He responded with a frown

So then he looked around
To see what he can see
And as it happened to be,
He was facing a tree

He then saw something dangling
It was red and round
"Red means danger",
He recalled his teacher's sound

He shook the branch to fight it
And the thing fell on his head
"My teacher didn't lie"
He thought as he felt dead

So here's the lesson, folks,
If you are hungry
You should never never never
Go anywhere near a tree

 

[TtTOtW]

See, @Ana Imfinity, I'm a writer too

 

[Ana Imfinity]

See, @Ana Imfinity, I'm a writer too

I see

 

[Hiveplay]

" O Lithuania, my country , thou
Art like good health ; I never knew till now
How precious, till I lost thee. Now I see
Thy beauty whole, because I yearn for thee.

O Holy Maid, who Czestochowà'a shrine
Dost guard and on the Pointed Gateway shine
And watchest Nowogrodek's pinnacle !
As Thou didst heal me by a miracle
(For when my weeping mother sought Thy power,
I raised my dying eyes, and in that hour
My strength returned, and to Thy shrine I trod
For life restored to offer thanks to God),
So by a miracle Thou'll bring us home.
Meanwhile, bear off my yearning soul to roam
Those little wooded hills, those fields beside
The azure Niemen, spreading green and wide,
The vari-painted cornfields like a quilt,
The silver of the rye, the wheatfields' gilt ;
Where amber trefoil, buck-wheat white as snow,
And clover with her maiden blushes grow,
And all is girdled with a grassy band
Of green, whereon the silent pear trees stand.
Such were the fields where once beside a rill
Among the birch trees on a little hill
There stood a manor house, wood-built on stone ;
From far away the walls with whitewash shone,
The whiter as relieved by the dark green
Of poplars, that the autumn winds would screen.

A.Mickiewicz - "Pan Tadeusz or the last foray in Lithuania"
In my school, we need to read it .
But in Polish .

 

[Danny Batten]

" O Lithuania, my country , thou
Art like good health ; I never knew till now
How precious, till I lost thee. Now I see
Thy beauty whole, because I yearn for thee.

O Holy Maid, who Czestochowà'a shrine
Dost guard and on the Pointed Gateway shine
And watchest Nowogrodek's pinnacle !
As Thou didst heal me by a miracle
(For when my weeping mother sought Thy power,
I raised my dying eyes, and in that hour
My strength returned, and to Thy shrine I trod
For life restored to offer thanks to God),
So by a miracle Thou'll bring us home.
Meanwhile, bear off my yearning soul to roam
Those little wooded hills, those fields beside
The azure Niemen, spreading green and wide,
The vari-painted cornfields like a quilt,
The silver of the rye, the wheatfields' gilt ;
Where amber trefoil, buck-wheat white as snow,
And clover with her maiden blushes grow,
And all is girdled with a grassy band
Of green, whereon the silent pear trees stand.
Such were the fields where once beside a rill
Among the birch trees on a little hill
There stood a manor house, wood-built on stone ;
From far away the walls with whitewash shone,
The whiter as relieved by the dark green
Of poplars, that the autumn winds would screen.

A.Mickiewicz - "Pan Tadeusz or the last foray in Lithuania"
In my school, we need to read it .
But in Polish .

Holy that’s good

 

[TtTOtW]

It's a classic. This spot is for BAD poetry, lol.

 

[Horus Lupercal]

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer.
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!
-Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

 

[Danny Batten]

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer.
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!
-Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

As I was reading I thought that even a Volgon would be proud, then I saw the bottom

 

[TtTOtW]

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturations are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath blurted out,
Its earted jurtles, grumbling
Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer.
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and stipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don't!
-Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

This had me a good chuckle